I’m starting to set some long term, tentative goals for the next couple of years. They are particularly goals about community involvement on campus, and patient advocacy in the chronic illness arena. These goals are about both events, and mindsets. I’ve never really been much of a goal setter, but I’ve felt like mapping things out more recently. The more time passes since my surgery (it has been about one and a half years now) the more comfortable I have become with thinking longer than a few months ahead. It feels good to be able to, and to feel comfortable enough to plan more long-term again.
While I have begun focusing on the long term again, I’ve started to overlook my health in the short term. I’d like to think that I can do whatever I want now that I’ve had my surgery, but that’s not the case. I’ve gotten into a rhythm where I’m tired for much of the day, but start to regain energy at night once all is quiet and still. I find myself having to glean through fragmented thoughts throughout the day before finding some that I can latch on to. Then, the lack of stimulation from outside forces seems to fire my brain up with ideas at night, and it’s hard to go to sleep once organized thoughts actually become accessible. This fatigue/lack of sleep/stress combination continues to bring on plagues of seizures. I don’t like laying in bed and resting when there are other things that I could be working on, or other places that I could be. I was committed to logging each and every one of my headaches, seizures, etc. for several months in the fall/winter, but I have taken a break from that because I feel that the numbers are irrelevant at this present time. While logging that information is very important, and something that I should probably be doing as a responsible patient, I am currently content with the medication dosages that I am taking. Those numbers would primarily signal a need for change in medication, and that is not something that I am interested in doing, at least not now with finals approaching.
In other news, I am meeting up with some of my cancer crew tonight during the Phoenix stop along the Stupid Cancer Road Trip. We will all be in Las Vegas for the OMG! 2014 Stupid Cancer Summit this time next week. I have quite a few thoughts about what to expect, who I will meet, etc., and I think that my post-summit blog post will cover a gamut of topics both about and outside of cancer and patient advocacy. Stay tuned.