Sophomore Year In Review

This year completely flew by! I can’t believe that I’m halfway done with my undergraduate career. I feel like the first semester just wrapped up. If I could, I would rewind to the end of the first semester and start over from there again. I’m a nerd..I absolutely love school, and would stay here forever if I could. I would probably attend the biomedical, business, engineering, and marketing classes just to see what they were like if they didn’t conflict with my schedule. Well, we know that I would attend the biomedical.

But school isn’t just learning, though, it’s the social opportunities that come with it too. I had a fantastic job working on campus this year and got to meet to many incredible people with such drive and passions that I never could have guessed that I would meet coming into the year. While I won’t be returning to work there next year, I don’t regret working there for a minute, and I found my roommate for this summer and next year because of that job. Speaking of that roommate, we both moved into our new apartment yesterday, and it’s awesome.

I wrapped up sophomore year with a 4.0, and made the Dean’s List both semesters. That leaves me with a 3.9 cumulative GPA for the two years that I’ve been here. Woot woot! I TAed for a course this year as well, and really enjoyed working together with the professor and PhD student on that. I take a lot of pride in my academic work, and it is pretty obvious that I also find a lot of self-worth in my academic success. I used to derive my self-worth from being the best on the tennis court, or whatever other sports arena that I competed in as a serious athlete, but ever since my back and brain surgeries I have not been able to compete in those same ways. The classroom has since become my arena, and exams and courses have become my competitions. I of course find self worth in character traits, friendships, and other aspects of life and myself as well, but I would be wrong not to point out the obvious and glaring importance that I place on academic success.

My favorite course this year by far was one of my Child Life courses called Children Facing Health Care Challenges. While it was only a brief overview of psychosocial assessments of hospitalized and chronically ill children, and techniques to support their coping, I learned a lot, and have another course with the same professor in the fall. As someone who considers themself to be chronically ill, I thought that all of the information was spot on, and that the professor did an excellent job delivering the information, even though the course was taught online.

There was one course, though, Early Childhood Intervention, that I struggled with this year for a reason that surprised me. While the course focused on an age group (0-3) unrelated to any treatment or medical procedures that I could recall or even had any health problems with at the time, a particular unit of the class focused on trauma, and I continuously experienced flashbacks from my surgery and other hospital visits as we went into detail about PTSD and how trauma can effect children down the road. I think that the professor noticed, because she came up to me after several classes to ask me mundane questions, as if she was waiting for me to disclose that I was struggling to her. That was really difficult for me, because I hadn’t had any flashbacks in what felt like months, even though it had unfortunately only been weeks, and then I had to sit there and have them multiple times a week.

I am now starting to get my thoughts together for my honors thesis, and that is very exciting. It will be on the topic of end of life for school-aged children and adolescents. I have my committee fully formed, and now it’s time to get in the research zone. I’ll be spending much of my free time reading to get a jump on that so that I can defend this spring as a junior and get it out of the way instead of stressing over it as a senior. I have quite a few friends who are seniors who are preparing to defend this spring as well, so we can research, drink coffee, and complain together.

In other news, tomorrow will be my first day volunteering in the Child Life department at a children’s hospital out here, and I am ecstatic! I am spending the summer out here in Arizona, and I have been warned that I just might melt. I was excited that my scrub pants were black, ie no awkward sweat stains when I take the bus to get there, but then I was told that it gets so hot that no color is truly safe from sweat stains, which was terrifying to hear. Regardless, wearing scrubs feels like wearing your pajamas to work, and I am all about that.

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Well that was awkward

The office called to reschedule the appointment for April 28th instead of the 29th, so I didn’t have to go to the doctor on my birthday after all!

Dr. Z was surprised to hear about the intensity to which some of my symptoms had effected. But, now that I’m pretty much back to my baseline cognitive state and energy level, we were able to reflect. We decided that I would call her the next time I have a seizure and that then I will very likely add another 100mg of Zonegran. I have the script ready to fill, it’s just a matter of if I want to and feel ready to do it. I’ll be busy volunteering at a children’s hospital this entire summer, and I don’t want to be all fogged up again. So, then we circle back to the ‘Are you putting your health or life first?’ debate, the ‘How is your quality of life, and how do you define quality of life?’ question. Those are conversations to have in person, not via a blog post.

I’ve actually had a seizure since I saw Dr. Z the week before last, but I know that it was directly caused by the lack of sleep and stress that came along with final exam week. Because the seizure was not triggered by an unknown cause, I didn’t call Dr. Z. I will call her and add more Zonegran when I feel like a seizure really goes out of control, or that they are truly unmanageable and increasing. The Klonopin wafers knock the seizures out within minutes, and it has been 3 weeks since my last seizure, and I’m feeling pretty content, which is nice. Part of being an empowered patient is taking responsibility for life circumstances and life events that are both within and out of my control. I could have chose to go to bed earlier when I was studying, I suppose that I could have petitioned to take my exam later in the day instead of in the early morning, etc.

I remain a huge fan of Dr. Z. She listens intently, and you can see the gears churning in her head as she cross-referencing her neurological knowledge with her personal, familial history of epilepsy prior to answering questions. I had a question that she wasn’t sure of the answer to, so she checked with a colleague and called me back with an answer within two hours of the appointment. There’s a second doctor, Dr. D, who has come in for a few minutes at the end of my two appointments with Dr. Z just to basically summarize and verify everything that I talked about with Dr. Z. Dr. D is so incredibly socially awkward. The interactions are almost painful to have. I’m not sure if he has some sort of social impairment, but his [perceived] level of uncomfortableness and social anxiety when speaking with patients is something that I truly believe is holding him back from connecting with and building relationships with his patients. I’m cringing now even just thinking back on the two interactions now. I might write another blog post about my thoughts on doctors and social skills/interactions more at length at a later point in time. Medical knowledge matters, but so do social skills and knowing how to navigate social spheres, even patient and waiting rooms.

One Semester Down

I am done with my first semester of college!

Finals went as expected. I always figure that if I work hard enough during the year then finals won’t be as stressful or nearly as GPA impactful, which has proved correct over the past five years. Earning a 3.8 GPA one year and three months after undergoing brain surgery isn’t too shabby.

I almost dropped a class at the start of the year but ended up sticking with it. My concern was that I wouldn’t be able to process the work well enough to complete quality papers. I ended up doing just fine! Phew.

I had a few health concerns this semester, but nothing out of the ordinary. Just some casual head trauma, mono diagnosis, and seizure spike activity..

I have stopped wearing my medical alert bracelet. Something that I acquired to have a better sense of security had started to make me actually worry more. The bracelet gets in the way when I type and I have to stop to adjust it, and that adjustment is just another reminder of surgery. I am still trying to remember and live like I am a person, not a byproduct of an operation. I feel more powerful without the bracelet, for now anyways.