I had a seizure last night, and it actually scared me. My absent mindedness threw my brain for a loop.
My brain has been running a marathon over the past week studying for and taking two exams in combination with working on two papers. I definitely could have used more sleep, but I pushed myself. I wanted to stay up with friends chatting in the hallway. I wanted to wake up early to meet with a professor kind enough to reteach me a lesson. I gave myself the benefit of the brain doubt – that I would be ok with less sleep..that I could do it.
My schedule is set so that I can sleep in as late as 1pm if necessary on Fridays. I woke up much earlier yesterday and met with a professor who volunteered to do me a huge favor. I completely zoned out after taking an exam on Wednesday and missed his class. I remember the basics of what I did between the exam and when I realized I had missed the class, but I’m fairly certain that another mini-seizure took place that day. Instead of using yesterday to recharge, I used it to recover for lost time. Bad move.
I was tired in the morning. My right pinky and ring finger started to curl in the early afternoon. By dinner time I started to mix up sentence structure and slur a few words every couple of sentences. Yet, I told myself that I needed to work on a paper. I wanted to be productive. Three hours of staring at a computer screen and getting nothing but typing quotes later, my right middle finger dropped. I decided that typing with one hand when I barley even had anything to say wasn’t good for my paper or for my brain. I called it a night and walked back to my dorm from the library exhausted, and slightly confused. Per usual, my right cheek started to feel heavy, the use of my right hand and arm slowly faded away, and my right leg started to feel unbalanced.
I was laying in bed when the sensation started to progress, but I didn’t want to try and sleep. I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to get up and walk around – prove that I could do whatever I wanted. I was pissed at my body. I complained, mumbled, and groaned out of frustration while a friend comforted me. The heavy symptoms lasted for about an hour and a half until they had significantly faded.
The scary part about yesterday’s seizure is that I chose to ignore that it was going to happen. I recognized the precursor symptoms building throughout the day and didn’t recognize them as warning signs. I convinced myself that I was just tired. I actively chose school over my health.